The Last Word
by regertz
Summary: Despite having "seen everything", Ross is informed that Mrs. Adelman isn't done with Phoebe yet…


"The Last Word…"

Summary: Despite having "seen everything", Ross is informed that Mrs. Adelman isn't done with Phoebe yet…

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended

Midnight…

"Hello there…" friendly smile as Ross screamed, sitting bolt upright.

"Sorry…" pause… "Ross." Phoebe, in blouse and trousers, sitting on his bed eyed his terrified form. A lace shawl about her shoulders.

"Didn't mean to disturb you…Ross." Hesitant.

"You didn't what to what…?" he stared, blinking.

"Just got back from that wedding…You know…" she gave a slight sigh. "The lesbian one…?"

"Yeah…The lesbian one with my exwife?" he blinked again at her quiet face. "And you just thought you'd sashay over here…?"

"Heh, heh, heh…" she gave a growling cackle of what he took sleepily to be a laugh, patting his leg. "You are a funny one. And smart, too. Who says 'sashay' any more?"

"Yeah…Well…Phoebe!" he came to himself after being briefly stunned by her praise. "What the hell are you doing here and how did you get in my apartment?!"

"You keep a key with your sister…Like a nice brother." Shrug. "So I figured and so it was…I borrowed it after your sister went to bed." Another shrug.

"Really? Why…?" he stared. "And you know I gave Monika a key."

"If I say it was because I find you irresistible will you calm down and put some pants on?" she eyed him.

"Ross…" she added. Uncertain tone.

"Why do you keep saying 'Ross' like you're not sure who I am?" he stared.

"Did I tell you maybe I find you irresistible? And this is what you're askin'? Geesh." She frowned. "I'm not bad-looking, am I? God knows I could use a little moisturizer but what I see in the mirror doesn't look too bad."

"No…Uh…What?"

"Ok." She put up a hand. "Truth of the thing is, I need your help. I gotta get over to see someone and I don't have a car and I didn't have the cab fare. It's a bit of a ride. Plus…" sheepish look. "I might need a little help, a doctor maybe. The guy I wanna see, he's not so healthy as all that. And seeing how you nearly keeled over…"

"See someone? Now? After midnight? Who? And why didn't you ask Monika since you were stealing my key from her anyway. And you know I'm not that kind of a doctor…"

"Just a key…Geesh…" she frowned. "I was afraid she'd think I was bonkers, again. I don't have the time for such headache. God forbid I need a little help, eh? And maybe I just need someone who can call himself a doctor, for the reassurance…Don't be so smart…eh, Ross."

"And you were sure I wouldn't…Think you were…?"

"Yeah, but you're the scientist, right? You wanna investigate strange things, right? And you're not as hard-headed as your sis, right?"

"Right? What?"

"Come on, I need that ride. Be a good friend to the girl and lets go."

"'Lets go'? Where?"

"When we're in the car…Now go and put your pants on. I'll make us a cup of tea." She got up and went to the kitchen. "You would have such things as teacups and kettle, right?" her voice called back to him as he blinked, stunned.

"Phoebe…? What's going on? I'm not going anywhere till I know what's going on…"

"All right, already…Just a minute whiles I get the tea on. God forbid it should take two minutes of your time." Call. "Where, may I ask?"

"The cabinet on the left and the tea's in the one to the right of it…Phoebe…" he paused. "How come you're still talking like an old woman?…That old woman? You're kinda creepin' me out here, sweetheart."

"It would kill you to say 'mature lady'?" she called. "First get your pants on like a respectable person then we'll have tea and we'll talk…"

"Phoebe…" nervously now. "You said she was gone. After 'seeing everything', at Carol's wedding, you said she was gone…And why are you just talking like Mrs. Adelman, not Phoebe sometimes, like before? Phoebe, is this a joke? Tell me Monika put you up to a funny joke on silly ole Ross."

"Ok, look." Sigh… "The girl she's had a long day and she doesn't eat the way she should so she's resting. Call me Rose." Phoebe in doorway now, beaming at him.

….

"So let me get this straight." Ross at last in pants, shirt, and overcoat, having been required to change "You're going out like that? It's not my place to say but…" twice. He now sipping at his tea in his car's driver's seat. "You're Rose Adelman and you haven't left Phoebe yet…But she said…"

"I didn't want her getting any more with the stress, she was getting all nervous with me hangin' round. I understood she had a heart attack once, I told you."

"But…Where…?" he eyed her. "Phoebe? Why don't you say something?"

Sip of tea from her own mug, she now seated next to him in his car. "Sleeping, poor thing, I told you already. Busy day for her, I kept her hopping." Smile.

"And you want me to take you…Somewhere…?"

"Not Lovers' Lane, sweetheart. Don't worry." Broader smile. "Though you are a cute one."

"So you still haven't…? But at the weddding you said you'd seen…"

"Not quite everything…" she nodded. "But just one more thing, I promise. And I wanted to wait on this one till the girl was asleep. She might find it…I don't know…A little much… She's been a lamb and I don't want her getting all upset here."

Stare…

"Well, come on…"

"Come on?"

She frowned…"As in…Drive. I gave you the directions."

"This is kind of a long drive…Rose." He looked at the sheet with directions she'd given him along with his mug of tea when they'd come down to the car. "Especially after midnight."

Sigh. "Look, I don't wanna be a ballbuster, honey. But I got no time to fool around. Now either you take me or maybe I stay here and Phoebe never wakes up. And take that seriously 'cause I am finding it kinda nice to be a pretty young thing again. Though personally…I think I was much the cuter girl at her age. A beautiful flower, the men all called me." Grin.

"Are you…Threatening me?" he blinked.

"More…Blackmailing, sweetheart. Drive, will ya?" she looked out the passenger window.

….

Two hours later, after a rather nightmarish drive through the dark streets and finally over to the upper coast of Long Island, he pulled up to the stop she'd indicated, just a curb next to an abandoned building. "Is this…?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "This'll just be a minute, honey…Then you can take Phoebe home and sorry for the inconvience." She unbuckled.

"But…What the hell is this place? It looks like it's been boarded up for thirty years."

"Forty-five. Shhh…" she got out, looking round.

"And there you are…" she beamed. "I knew it." Ross, emerged from his side of the car, staring at the figure in overcoat.

"Ms. Buffay…" gallant bow, puzzled look. "What are you doing here?"

"I knew you'd come tonight." Smile. "We never missed it." She kissed him on the forehead.

"No, we never did…" Mr. Adelman blinked at her, eyes filling… "Our first dance…1:30am, 1937."

"So it was, glad to see you don't have the Alzheimer's yet." She regarded the old man.

"I love you. Sorry I neglected to say that earlier but I couldn't leave without it and I wanted it should be at the right place, right?. Bye, honey." She smiled at the old man who beamed at her.

"Mr. Adelman?" Phoebe stared.


End file.
